Big Boobs

Yes, the phrase “big boobs” (technically, B16B00B5) did crop up in a bit of Microsoft code. The hexadecimal string was found within code used to make a Microsoft program work with Linux, and Microsoft has already apologized. I’m now going to talk a bit about hexadecimal coding because it’s necessary to understand the issue, but I led with the bit about boobs because I actually want people to read this (that was a stupid thing to admit).

I began with some extensive research on hexadecimal codes, by which I mean I skimmed a Wikipedia article for a few minutes while texting a programmer from Stache Studios (who is also my little brother, Ian). Hexadecimal codes are strings of code that correspond to a base sixteen numeric system. The digits 0-9 represent (surprisingly) the digits 0-9. The letters A-F represent the numbers 10-15. The way you get a total is to add up the value of each letter/digit times sixteen to the power of whatever place it occupies. For example, B00B135 (boobies!) is (11 x 16⁶) + (0 x 16⁵) + (0 x 16⁴) + (11 x 16³) + (1 x 16²) + (3 x 16¹) + (5 x 16⁰), all of which equals 184,594,741. So if I ever tell you to “check out her one hundred eighty-four million, five hundred ninety-four thousand, seven hundred forty-one,” you now know what I mean (telling me to double-check my math should buy you enough time to quietly walk away).

These codes are commonly used to represent values (that’s actually the only thing any code has ever been used for in the history of codes). It’s entirely possible that some programmer actually had a legitimate need to use that number. 2,976,579,765 (big boobs) is commonly used as a sort of placeholder between 2,976,579,766 and 2,976,579,764. It’s also handy if you happen to have 2,976,579,765 of something and wish to accurately relay that information.

In all fairness, it’s equally possible he (or she) was using it as a password, unique id, test number, or one of many other functions that Ian told me about after I lost interest. In that case it was completely intentional (and pretty funny). Developer Dr. Matthew Garrett, who is quoted in the BBC article I stole this story from, disagrees with my assessment. “Puerile sniggering at breasts contributes to the continuing impression that software development is a boys’ club where girls aren’t welcome,” he wrote.

First off, lighten up (it sounds like someone could benefit from a little puerile sniggering.) Second, I’m not a software developer (I’ve done some light programming here and there), but I know a few, and I’m certainly a nerd. Software development may be a male dominated world, but it’s not at all intentional on the part of the members. As boy’s clubs go, it’s the sort that would happily waive membership dues for any girl willing to join.

And now they’re talking about whether such a chunk of code is sexist (and anything that can be construed as –ist is immediately malicious). This is despite the fact it could have been a legitimate accident (like a random five letter code coming up penis) or at worst a minor prank that most people would never know about (like a construction worker drawing a penis on a 2x4 that they’re about to put sheet rock and drywall over). I also have to wonder what the reaction would have been if the programmer had used the number 762,133 (BA115 or Balls). It would probably somehow get the same reaction, despite having the puerile sniggering directed at male naughty bits.

Maybe we’ll have to treat certain strings of hexadecimal code like the 13^th floor (or 13^th street in Rome), and just avoid them altogether regardless of how irrational and stupid it is. In case that happens, I think we should help them to determine which numbers to avoid. So, what sort of inappropriate/amusing things can you come up with using the following?

A  B  C  D  E  F 0  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9

We’ve got B00B135, B00B1E5, B16B00B5 and BA115 so far. Let’s find more. Comment here, or Tweet possibilities (#B00B135). I’ll be Tweeting any I come up with throughout the day, and I’ll post them here sometime.